- Unknown. Here are some fun quotes about Texas, yall! Booth Tarkington The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. "Inside every older person is a younger personwondering what the hell happened.". Pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.A worm is the only animal that cant fall down.Never sign nothing by neon.Just because a chicken has wings dont mean it can fly.Keep your saddle oiled and your gun greased.You cant get lard unless you boil the hog.If you cut your own firewood, itll warm you twice.Theres more than one way to break a dog from sucking eggs.Give me the bacon without the sizzle.Dont hang your wash on someone elses line.Do Gods will, whatever the hell it may be.Lick that calf again? Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! It also transitions to a nightbag more easily and wont embarrass you if you go to dinner directly after sightseeing all day. Looks like shes been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on.Looks like she was rode hard and put away wet.She looks like chewed twine.He looks like Bowsers bone.I was born tired and Ive since suffered a relapse.One wheel down and the axle dragging.Im near about past going. 3. Best Funny & Humorous Happy Birthday Wishes It ought to do so, for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages. Famous People From Texas & Celebs Born In Texas. -Markham Shaw Pyle, I highly enjoy the people down in that area. Texas Birthday Quotes & Sayings . Preaching to the choir.Burning daylight.Arguing with a wooden Indian.Whistling up the wind.Hollering down a well. University of Houston history professor Raul Ramos gives his take on 10 of the most important dates leading to the establishment of the Republic of . 4. Hes been saucered and blowed.He sure cleaned your plow. Happy birthday to someone who's wonderful in every way. this is one of the funniest Texas expressions! Wishing you a birthday as wonderful as you are. Texas is a blend of valor and swagger ~Carl Sandburg, There wouldnt be no Alamo, No Cowboys in the Superbowl No Lonesome Dove, no Yellow Rose, If it wasnt for Texas. George Strait, Im so shook. I just love you too much. nashville caption ideas - best nashville captions for couples. They dream big dreams and think big thoughts, because there is nothing to hem them in. Conrad Hilton, No matter where you go in East Texas, Deep East Texas is always about twenty miles further in than wherever you are. Markham Shaw Pyle. -Doc Holliday, When a lady accessorizes in here in Texas, shes selecting caliber, not color. As exciting as waiting for paint to dry.As exciting as a mashed-potato sandwich.As much fun as chopping wood.Dull as Henrys bone. As welcome as an egg-sucking dog unwelcome. Hope your year is better than those ears! I'm so glad you never act your agelet's have some fun tonight! Hes all hat and no cattle. The 60 Best Happy Birthday To Sister Quotes from Heart; Happy Birthday To Cousin; Love Quotes for Him; The 60 Romantic Cute Love Quotes For Her from Heart. The Texanist: Is My Husbands Devotion to Texas-Branded Foods Crazy? In three days, no one could stand him. Joseph Heller, I felt a little guilty about jangling the poor buggers brains with that evil fantasy. "Texas is the finest portion of the globe that has blessed my vision.". He stays in the shadow of his mamas apron.If he was melted down, he couldnt be poured into a fight.Hes first cousin to Moses Rose.He wouldnt bite a biscuit.Hes yellow as mustard but without the bite.He may not be a chicken, but he has his henhouse ways. : Janine Turner, There is a special mystique to Texas. May your smile get brighter with each passing year. Kathleen Kent, Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. If you do use one, Id love if you linked or tagged me so I can enjoy your work! 50+ Best 25th Birthday Quotes, Captions And Messages Matthew McConaughey and his wife, Camila Alves, stepped out at his annual Mack, Jack & McConaughey Gala alongside their son Levi. The 15 Famous Texas Quotes You'll Remember Forever Welcome to the Return of Glam at the Best New Hotels in Texas, A Head Above: How Barbacoa Paved the Way for Barbecue, Sex, Threats, and Late-Night Phone Calls: The Allegations From Inside Jolanda Joness Legislative Office, Hellhounds on His Trail: Mack McCormicks Long, Tortured Quest to Find the Real Robert Johnson. That is truer than true! (Snored. 65th Birthday Birthday Wishes Birthday Friends Husband Birthday Birthday Wishes Happy Birthday Sister Funny 60th Birthday 50th Birthday 50 Year Old Birthday Love Belated Birthday Thank You 3. Wishing you a cheerful 60th birthday. 2) Forget the present, I didn't get you one. What: Navasota is throwing a Texas-sized two-day birthday party. A smart ass just don't fit in a saddle. 30 Birthday Quotes To Celebrate Your Friends and Loved Ones 125 Best Texas Quotes and Texas Instagram Captions 2023 Go shawty! Here is your ultimate guide to best quotes about Texas Sip on some sweet tea or have a plate of pecan pie handy as you scroll through! Happy birthday, best friend. He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole in the crematorium. I'm so thankful you're in my life, and I hope you have a very special birthday! 23 Best Texas Quotes To Fill You With Pride | Kidadl And once again we wish you. If a trip around the world cost a dollar, I couldnt get to the Oklahoma line.Hes so broke hes busted all Ten Commandments.Poor as a lizard-eating cat.Hasnt got a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of.So poor I had a tumbleweed as a pet.I ate so many armadillos when I was young, I still roll up into a ball when Ihear a dog bark.So poor we had to fertilize the sills before we could raise the windows.Poor as sawmill rats.Hes broke as a stick horse.Hes too poor to pay attention.So poor the wolf wont even stop at their door.So poor their Sunday supper is fried water.Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash. You could ride all the way to Big Spring on it and never split a hair.It wouldnt cut hot butter.You could scratch your back with it and never draw blood. Celebrate one more turn around the sun with the collection of quotes about birthdays below. -Mike Blakely, Most Americans can cover their home state in less than a week. I wish you a speedy recovery from all that you lost in earlier years. Texas Birthday Quotes - ShortQuotes.cc Inspirational Birthday Quotes - 161 Motivational Wishes on Birthday Need Texas sayings about girls from Texas? Base Skill Analysis. Funny Quotes on Birthday. Rich, poor, Panhandle, Gulf, city, country, Texas is the obsession, the proper study, and the passionate possession of all Texans. John Steinbeck, Theres a freedom you begin to feel the closer you get to Austin, Texas. Willie Nelson, During the cold war, West Berlin was an exclave a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who wanted to crush it. -Carl Sandburg, Texas is like a beckoning star to American settlers. On your birthday, I just want to remind you that you are the best person I have ever met in my whole life. Download high quality Texas clip art graphics. -George Strait, You can take the girl out of Texas but not Texas out of the girl. Happy Birthday To Me Quotes. Famous Birthday Quotes From the Famous Rich, poor, Panhandle, Gulf, city, country, Texas is the obsession, the proper study, and the passionate possession of all Texans. John Steinbeck, Half of San Antonios population is of Mexican descent; the other half just eats that way. Mike Greenberg, If you really want to learn the attitude of how to handle risk, losing, and failure, go to San Antonio and visit the Alamo. All cut up like a boardinghouse pit.Grinning like a mule eating cockleburs.Nervous as a pregnant jenny.Nervous as a fly in the glue pot.Nervous as a woodshed waiter.Shes chewing her bit. If your favorite 60-year-old has a good sense of humor, teasing them a little (in good fun) is okay. Oprah Winfrey God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. Looking for famous Texas quotes, Texas sayings, and Texas one liners? I wouldnt trust him any farther than I could throw him. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder. Were still figuring out how to spell tolerance. This is hog-killing weather.Theres only a strand of barbed wire between here and there, and its down (after a blizzard).Cold as a well-diggers knee.Cold as a frosted frog.Cold as an ex-wifes heart.Cold as a cast-iron commode.Cold as a bankers heart.Cold as hell with the furnace out. - By Steven Wright. If I live to see your grandchildren, I'm going to tell them all the Birthday pranks we played on you every year. Robb Walsh. TOP 25 BIRTHDAY QUOTES (of 1000) | A-Z Quotes Lauren Larson is a former features writer and editor. 3. More Colorful Texas Sayings Than You Can Shake a Stick At You dont just move into Texas. Wishing you a texas sized birthday. The Lone Star State is full of character, and so are these Texas quotes. If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? John Gunther. Happy Birthday. If you use one on a website, please link to this post. Collections. It is time to sing and dance, and it is time for birthday bumps! Texas has various symbols such as the Bluebonnet (state flower), the Northern Mockingbird (state bird), and the horned lizard (state reptile). Otherwise, I wish you a very happy day, darling. Kathy Blackwell is an executive editor at Texas Monthly. In Texas, folks aren't just richlocals say they didn't come to town two to a mule. And what could possibly be a better way to talk about this state than discussing its funny Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, and jokes? There Are No Two Sides in Texass Fiery Truck Debate, At Brownsvilles Annual Grito Contest, Its All About Yelling Your Heart Out, The Astrodomes Decline From Eighth Wonder to Eighth Blunder of the World, Mosquito Hawks Are Flitting All Over Texas, I Biked the I-35 Hell Route From Austin to San Antonio So You Dont Have To. Dan Solomon writes about politics, music, food, sports, criminal justice, health care, film, and business. Got a big hole in the fence. Comedian Jim Gaffigan's funny birthday quote is the ideal way to wish a loved one a happy birthday. Texas is Texas. Hes on a first-name basis with the bottom of the deck.So crooked that if he swallowed a nail hed spit up a corkscrew.So crooked you cant tell from his tracks if hes coming or going.He knows more ways to take your money than a roomful of lawyers.Crooked as a dogs hind leg.Crooked as the Brazos.Slicker than a slop jar.More twists than a pretzel factory.Crooked as a barrel of fish hooks.So crooked he has to unscrew his britches at night.Shes more slippery than a pocketful of pudding.Hes slicker than a boiled onion.I wouldnt trust him any farther than I can throw him. Some sayings are instantly familiar because our parents or grandparents quoted them; others parallel the indisputable wisdom of biblical proverbs or Poor Richards Almanac; plenty just make us laugh. Texas Birthday Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2022 So I got a cake." - Mitch Hedberg, comedian -Texas Department of Transportation. May this year be filled with many doors opening to you, and may you reach your biggest goals. Happy Birthday. Let's set a date for cake this week. 9. "Pleas'd to look forward, pleas'd to look behind, and count each birthday with a grateful mind." - Alexander Pope. Brave as the first man who ate an oyster.Brave as a bigamist.Brave enough to eat in a boomtown cafe.Hes double-backboned.Hes got more guts than you could hang on a fence.Hed shoot craps with the devil himself.Shed charge hell with a bucket of ice water. Jos R. Ralat is Texas Monthlys taco editor, writing about tacos and Mexican food. Tight as Dicks hatband.Tight as a tick.Tight as a clothesline.Tight as a fiddle string.Tight as wallpaper.Tight as a wet boot.Tight enough to raise a blister.So tight he squeaks when he walks.Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams.She has short arms and deep pockets. 15 More Hilarious Texas Memes to Keep You Laughing - Wide Open Country An 18th birthday is exciting but your 21st birthday will be even better. A Camerasince Texas is super photogenic. 0 ; Copy -Sam Houston, Thats the thing about East Texas. He could talk the legs off a chair. "I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world." - Tommy Tune. It would be an honor to get dismembered by a chainsaw. Sweeter than stolen honey.Sweeter than babys breath.Sweeter than an old maids dream.He took to you like a hog to persimmons.He took to you like a fish to water.Happy as a boardinghouse pup.Happy as a clam at high tide.Happy as a hog in mud.Safe as Grannys snuffbox.Fair to middling.Pert as a cricket.Soft as a two-minute egg.All wool and a yard wide.Im cooking on a front burner today.If I felt any better, Id drop my harp plumb through the cloud.If I felt any better, Id think it was a setup.Fat and sassy.All sweetness and light.This is so good itll make childbirth a pleasure.Fine as frog fur.Fine as dollar cotton.Fine as boomtown silk.Fine as cream gravy.The porch light is always burning.Long as I got a biscuit, you got half. "You May All Go to Hell and I Will Go to Texas" Davy Crockett This quote truly epitomizes the spirit of Texas. Texas girls are a whole different breed. John Cusack, What you northerners never appreciate is that Texas is so big that you can live your life within its limits and never give a damn about what anyone in Boston or San Francisco thinks. James Michener, I like it here in Austin. -John Steinbeck, Dont mess with Texas. But, few visitors know how to use it correctly. All of us are joining in to say, that may the year which your birthday begins, brings all the special things, that mean the most to you. This is an all-out tantrum with hollerin', feet stompin' the works. Here are some of the uniquely Texan sayings not for the faint at heart! -Ann Richards, Havin fun while freedom fightin must be one of those lunatic Texas traits we get from the water which is known to have lithium in it because it goes all the way back to Sam Houston, surely the most lovable, the most human, and the funniest of all the great men this country has ever produced. Port Arthur people thought I was a beatnik, though they'd never seen one and neither had I. I'm from Texas originally, and I've always wanted to be in a horror movie, so I've gotten both of my wishes with this project. 100 Getting Older Birthday Quotes for Yourself and Loved Ones My heart felt wishes and blessings are coming your way on the wonderful occasion of your birthday. birthday psd clipart gold. Unknown 118 Likes Birthday quotes Friends quotes Yippee your birthday is finally here. Just a small serving. Happy Birthday to you, my dearest friend. They hung the wrong horse thief. for when something goes wrong. to say youre experienced at something. You will also find plenty of Texas sayings about being from here or living here. Birthdays are a time to celebrate, reflect on the year, and make future wishes for the year to come. 3. The festival includes live performances from Texas artists like Aaron Watson, the Josh Abbott Band, Kyle Park and more. If you get sick, injured, or have your stuff stolen, youll be happy to have the ability to pay for your medical bills or replace whats stolen or broken. Texas literally has a pledge they say every morning. happy birthday wishes little bunny svg png eps cut files typography. No matter how tough things get, she's seen tougher. Only Texas could turn defeat into a legendand a song, and a tourist attraction, and a major motion picture. ~Rosemary Kent, speaking of the Alamo. -Cherie Priest, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. I wrestle with these questions all the time. "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been with." - Madeleine L'Engle. Levi's All Grown Up! Matthew McConaughey, Camila Alves Bring Son to Gala Its better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.Thats close enough for government work.Might as well. And memories to store. On your Birthday, my dear sister, I wish I can go back in time and slap myself every time I hurt you. Courtney Bond is an executive editor of Texas Monthlys Food & Drink and BBQ sections. Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent Funny Birthday Quotes. Here go some of our favorite Texas sayings. Dan Rather 0 Copy To me, it's really the heart of Texas. Lets light a shuck.Its time to heat up the bricks.Its time to put the chairs in the wagon.Its time to swap spit and hit the road.Its time to put out the fire and call in the dogs.Hes heading for the wagon yard.Lets blow this pop stand.That about puts the rag on the bush.Church is out.Thats all she wrote. Here's to another year of pretending we have our lives together. In my district back in Texas, significant because we have a big solar panel production plant in Keller, Texas, we have a wind turbine plant in Gainesville, Texas, up in Cook Country. Hope your birthday cake is as sweet as you! "There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why." William Barclay Purpose "I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody." George Burns (at 100 years) Respect "You were born an original. Texas is an obsession. Best Texan Quotes. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. You mean the world to me, on your birthday and every day. Birthday Texas Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2023 - Search Quotes 7. You cant share Texas quotes without sharing Texans quotes, right? George Meredith. A version of this article appears in our 2019. Getty A police officer walks outside of the closed Alamo on April 1, 2020 in downtown San Antonio, Texas, during a stay at home order amid the novel coronavirus outbreak. 3. Happy 65th Birthday! "For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday." John Glenn "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday, but never remembers her age." Robert Frost "When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. As the old saying goes. Hotter than a honeymoon hotel yeah, its hot! -Rache Caine, No matter where you go in East Texas, Deep East Texas is always about twenty miles further in than wherever you are. 500 matching entries found. Hes such a liar hed beat you senseless and tell God you fell off a horse.He was born sorry.Hes so low hed steal the widows ax.Hed steal his mamas egg money.Hed steal the flowers off his grandmas grave.Hed steal the nickels off a dead mans eyes.No-account fellow.Bitter as gall.Tough as nickel steak.Tough as stewed skunk.Tough as whang.Mean as a mama wasp.Friendly as a bramble bush.She makes a hornet look cuddly.A she-bear in satin.Rough as a cob.He looks like a sheep-killing dog.He lies like a tombstone.He wouldnt scratch his own mamas fleas.Hes got horns holding up his halo.Were not on borrowing terms.Youre so low you have to look up to see hell.Hes so low you couldnt put a rug under him.He jumped on me with all four feet.A real revolving son of a bitch. At Texas Swingers Clubs, the Lifestyle Is Booming, My Brothers Ashes, the Bayou, and an Enigmatic Life, What Is Left to Say About Waco? Dont mess with Texas. Texas Department of Transportation slogan for a campaign to reduce littering on Texas roadways. - The US death toll from . -Pat Green, You dont just move to Texas. Drop them in the comments below! Birthdays Sayings and Quotes. 10 Texas Sayings That Are Quintessentially Texan AUSONIUS In Texas, there is a certain honor of being a Texan that is doing something the best that you can. Matthew McConaughey, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. Anon, The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole world. AnUnlockedCell Phoneso that you can use a local sim card while here to help navigate public transportation and when youre on the road. . Buzzard bait.He gave up his guitar for a harp.He ate a bitter pill. May your birthday be as sweet as you are. 100 Best Happy Birthday Quotes & Wishes For Your Wife | YourTango It is a celebration of someone that is loved and greatly admired. I use a mix of myNikon D810and mySamsung8smartphone these days. Anybody got a room? Keith Richards, You dont just move into Texas. These are among the most empowering quotes for turning 25. Texas is Texas. William Blakely, People dont live in Austin to work. September 23, 2021; by Victoria Hudgins; Inside: Happy 28th Birthday Quotes + Captions. I think you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. Idina Menzel, For all its enormous range of space, climate, and physical appearance, and for all the internal squabbles, contentions, and strivings, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. John Steinbeck, Texans ignored better, long ago forgot the useless word good. Everything in Texas is best. Edward Smith, Never forget, son, when you represent Texas, always go first class.- James Michener, A born Texan has instilled in his system a mindset of no retreat and no surrender. Check out my Balkan Travel Blog + Oklahoma Travel Blog, 50 Stunning Hawaii Quotes & Hawaii Instagram Caption Inspiration, 101 Quotes about Los Angeles & LA Quotes that Make Perfect LA Instagram Captions, 50 Inspirational Kansas Quotes for Kansas Instagram Captions & Statuses, 101 Gorgeous Quotes About California & Fabulous California Instagram Captions, 250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions, 101 Fabulous Quotes about New York & New York Instagram Captions, 30 Beautiful Chicago Quotes & Chicago Instagram Caption Inspiration, 13 Inspirational Colorado Quotes & Colorado Instagram Inspiration, The Best Texas Quotes & Texas Instagram Captions. So rich they can eat fried chicken all week long. yes, fried chicken is where all the moolahs at! -James Michener, I like the image Texas brings to mindthat of bigness, of strength, of goodness. Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word. He could fall up a tree.Couldnt ride a nightmare without falling out of bed.He couldnt knock a hole in the wind with a sackful of hammers.So bad at farming he couldnt raise Cain.He couldnt hit the floor if he fell out of bed.Handy as hip pockets on a hog.Worthless as teats on a bull.Worthless as a sidesaddle on a sow.Not worth spit.He couldnt organize a pissing contest in a brewery.Useless as two buggies in a one-horse town.He could screw up a two-car funeral.Tie a quarter to it and throw it away, and you can say you lost something.Hes got no more chance than a June bug in the chicken coop.Hes a day late and a dollar short.He cant win for losing.Hes sucking hind teat.I need that like a tomcat needs a trousseau.Shes itching for something she wont scratch for.Why close the barn door after the horses are out?No more good than an eyeless needle.Like warming up leftover snow.Like pushing a wheelbarrow with rope handles.Like sweet-talking the water out of the well. Birthday Wishes quotes I'm taking your birthday as an opportunity to thank you for all that you are to me. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Texas | Arknights Wiki - GamePress May God give you the wings of valor to soar high and spread your colors. Wishing you a Texas sized birthday! | Happy birthday greetings, Happy He wasnt born, just squeezed out of a bartenders rag.Drunker than who shot John.Snot-slinging drunk.Drunk as Cooter Brown.Drunk as a skunk.Dont chop any wood tonight; Daddys coming home with a load.Tighter than bark on a log.Ive got the whistlebelly thumps and skull cramps. Copyright 2021-2023 - Roaming the USA -- All rights reserved | Made with love in the , 71 Best Texas Sayings and Quotes for Proud Texans. Got a big hole in the fence.I got my ox in a ditch.He loaded the wrong wagon.They hung the wrong horse thief.He ripped his britches.Theres a yellowjacket in the outhouse. DR. SEUSS (more Dr. Seuss quotes) Let us never know what old age is. I love Texas too well to bring civil strife and bloodshed upon her. 500 matching entries found. Shes itching for something she wont scratch for. for dreaming for something too big! Nows Your Chance. Fat as a boardinghouse cat.Fat as a town dog.Shes warm in winter, shady in summer.He dont care what you call him as long as you call him to supper.So big he looks like he ate his brother.So big he has to sit down in shifts.Big as Brewster County.Big as Dallas.Big as a Brahma bull.Shed rather shake than rattle.Hes big enough to bear hunt with a branch.Hes all spread out like a cold supper.Wide as two ax handles.Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. So crooked that if he swallowed a nail, hed spit up a corkscrew. Wishing you a lot of surprises and happiness on your 65th Birthday. I pay forWorld Nomads,and I happily recommend them. "You Can Imagine Me as a Kid Growing up in Redneck Texas with Ballet Shoes, Tucking the Violin under My Arm. Read Next:250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions. People from all over the United States can pick Texas out on the map. 150 Birthday Quotes and Sayings | Keep Inspiring Me It's a better use of salt. It moves into you. Manny Fernandez, As a Texan and a country music fan, I didnt learn George Strait songs; I knew them the same way I know English. Jack Ingram, Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. Sam Houston, Id heard about Texas football and how much of a religion it is, but to go to Odessa and experience it first-hand is something different than just hearing about it. Jay Hernandez. Dream big and make them true, so that one-day people get inspired by your sheer guts. On my birthday, I wished for a friend like you. "May you be gifted with life's biggest joys and never-ending bliss. They hung the wrong horse thief. Happy Birthday, Texas: How well do you know the state? -Ninfa Laurenzo. If a duck had his brain, it would fly north for the winter.He doesnt have enough sense to spit downwind.If he was bacon, he wouldnt even sizzle.If brains were leather, he couldnt saddle a flea.He carries his brains in his back pocket.Dumb as dirt.Dumb as a box of rocks.Dumb as a barrel of hair.Dumb as a post.Dumb as a wagon wheel.Dumb as a prairie dog.Dumb as a watermelon.He doesnt know come here from sic em.He doesnt know enough to pound sand down a rat hole.He cant ride and chew at the same time.So stupid if you put his brains in a bumblebee, itd fly backwards.If all her brains were ink, she couldnt dot an i.If all his brains were dynamite, he couldnt blow his nose.He dont know which ends up.He dont know a widget from a whangdoodle.He dont know nothing from nothing.He dont know diddly squat.He couldnt pour piss out of a boot with a hole in the toe and the directions on the heel.If he had a brain, itd die of loneliness.So thick-headed you can hit him in the face with a tire iron and he wont yell till morning.He could screw up an anvil. Birthdays Sayings and Birthdays Quotes | Wise Sayings When compared with all the other happy birthday quotes, this one is especially unique. Unknown Author. No membership required. Hes overdrawn at the memory bank. They don't treat beatniks too good in Texas. I look 40 and act 20; that made me 60. It was the home of Tejano patriot Jose Antonio Navarro, who was influential in the fight for Texas' independence. He shoots off his mouth so much he must eat bullets for breakfast. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. Funny 60th Birthday Quotes. This is really true, this is what happened to us. In three days no one could stand him. Joseph Heller, If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell General Philip Henry Sheridan, The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that its impossible to be insane in Texas. Malcolm McDowell.
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