Originally published in the Dubuque Telegraph Herald – June 19, 2022
I am still trying to process the Robb Elementary School shooting in Uvalde, Texas. Perhaps like some of you, I find myself with more questions than answers. With predictability, pundits and politicians will offer us their analysis and opinion. Blame will be delivered with great passion, and the narrative will again morph into another political battle. But I will still be left with still more questions than answers.
But here’s what I do know.
Evil exists in the world.
Bad things happen to good people.
As beautiful as our world is, it is also full of hate, prejudice, inequity, and those who wish to harm and exploit other human beings.
But here’s another thing I know.
Good also exists in the world.
Good things happen to good people.
And this beautiful world doesn’t absorb any more beauty by the predictable political rants that eventually die out, only to be resurrected at the next elementary school shooting.
Today is Father’s Day. I believe that Father’s Day is an important day because people that aspire to be good fathers; that is, those that try to provide support, care, love, and nurture to their children, are part of the antidote to some of the ills that are running rampant in our culture.
Being a committed dad isn’t necessarily sexy (hence the phrase, “Dad bod”), nor is it full of daily excitement and thrills. But it is a vocational calling. It’s a way of life and an internal commitment to disciplined selflessness. It’s hard and sometimes lonely work.
And, let’s face it: most dads are not necessarily the best at sharing their insecurities or inadequacies. But good dads press on because they know that their calling as a dad is never really completed. Different seasons require different kinds of dad-guidance.
One of the best dads I know is an alum of the University of Dubuque Theological Seminary. He is a pastor in the Czech Republic. He grew up in communism, experienced the freedom that accompanied the liberation of eastern Europe, and became a seminarian in Dubuque, Iowa, in the late 1990s.
He is an extremely bright person and is so quiet and calm that he is sometimes missed in the room. Petr now has a family: a wife and two adolescent daughters. There have been significant health issues with Petr and one of his daughters, one requiring extensive surgery and the other requiring advanced treatment in Scotland. And pastors don’t earn much of an income in the Czech Republic.
Nevertheless, his family is happy and whole. They are living their important and modest lives one day at a time, and they have even somehow managed to find room in their tiny home to host a displaced refugee family from Ukraine.
Though I earn my living in the world of words, I am convinced that children learn far more from their fathers and father-like figures by observing silent acts of kindness and generosity. Petr is a good teacher in that respect.
We’ll never know the comprehensive background of 18-year-old Salvador Ramos, the Robb Elementary School shooter. But I do know that our society will surely benefit from fathers that try to approach fatherhood as a calling from God.
Well said Dr. Bullock! Children do learn by observing. As the old saying goes; “What you do speaks so loud, I can’t hear what you say.”
Peter,
Thank you for reading and taking the time to engage the blog!
Jeffrey
Dr. Bullock. My children are now 50, 49 and 42. Joyce and I have a good relationship with them Your are right there are seasons in this adventures called fatherhood. The support that is necessary and also wonderful never ceases.
My kids have called attention to mistakes that I have made over the years. They are right when they identify specific things that I did not handle well. I am glad that they feel secure enough to tell me about those things. I can only tell them I did what I thought was right at the time.
They also assure us that as Joyce and I get older, they will have our backs. I wanted them to feel secure as they grew up. Now we are feeling secure as we age.
Parents and children are a team. That teamwork never ends!!!
Dick,
As always, thank you for taking the time to read the blog, and for sharing your thoughtful reflections with all of us.
Jeffrey
The youngest of seven children and the last surviving child, I’ve been reflecting on my Dad, who was also my Pastor! We learned much from him as our Dad, and it was not possible to maintain a clear distinction between his role as Dad and role as Pastor. I learned from him as a child, an adolescent, and an adult in the life of our active family, but permit me to illustrate his courage and conviction in unconventional “pastoral situations”!
Mike, our neighbor came home drunk on alternate Friday nights, one night beating on the door, with a knife in his hand. My Dad–5’2″ and 124 lbs., usually soft spoken–went to his porch, “Mike, give me the knife!” Many years later, Mike drove many miles to pay respect to my Dad at the visitation, and we learned some years later, Mike became a Christian. We moved to another town, and another drunk neighbor. One pay day, my Dad entered the local tavern, took Leon by collar, “Leon, take care of you wife and children.” Many years later, Leon moved to New York State, and became a Christian.
These events did not occur every day (!), but my Dad’s life in the family exemplified the same conviction and character demonstrated in these two and other events in his ministry. By the way, we had a lot of fun!
Joel,
Thank you for taking the time to engage the blog, and for sharing this wonderful story of your father!
Jeffrey
I keep thinking about this blog. I also believe that fatherhood is a calling from God. I am reminded of the lyrics from the Servant Song that is sung in our church. Brothers and sisters, let me be your servant, Let me be as Christ to you. We dads are called to be servants to our children and also all that we meet..
The song continues. Pray that I may also have the grace to let you be my servant too. That means that our children are called to take care of us and also pay it forward to others.
My father was a World War 2 vet. He returned to the US in November of 1945. I was born in December of 1946, When he returned from the South Pacific, he had malaria. He toughed it out though. Mom and Dad bought a run down farm in Dubuque county. As his oldest son, I learned to work with my dad to build a better life for mom and my five younger siblings.
Dad was also so gracious to all of God’s people. He greeted everyone with a smile and a word of care and compassion. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in 1991. Before he had the surgery and treatment, he gathered together the whole family and we cut a lot of wood for mom. His last bit of physical labor was to serve her. As he got weaker, I considered it an honor to make life more comfortable for him.
Because he always reached out to others, I am inspired to continue to reach out to others also. I learned a lot of his lessons by just watching him. He was a quiet man. He had a great cute sense of humor that caused people to enjoy being around him.
My sibling have varied gifts. My dad understood that. He used those talents to choose the farm tasks that we were surely able to accomplish with success. He was a master manager.
I became a member of the University of Dubuque family in 2004. Each of our faculty, staff and students has varied gifts. I want to uplift each member of the UD family by using the lessons of my dad. I want to help them discover their God given gifts that they have been given to share. I want to challenge them to use those gifts to serve God’s people, We, the human family, can make this world a peaceful caring place.’
Joyce and I intend to do as much as we can, for as many as we can, for as long as we can. There may be some hurdles on our journey, but God assures us that there is nothing that we cannot handle because we are in the palm of HIS hand!!!
If we do not do this, who will?